every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
