I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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