I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
