Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize