erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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