If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
