You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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