Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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