how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i now understand why vodka
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
