i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
