I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
