It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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