i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
