I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
