He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize