Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
