It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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