we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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