can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
