So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
