i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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