Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
