It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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