His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Less talking, more tequila
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
