I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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