I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
