Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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