A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
