Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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