At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize