you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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