I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
