i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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