you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
