1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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