oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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