I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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