i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
