Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
