last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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