your room smells of hookers.
And success
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
