I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
