My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
