He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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