1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
