oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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