Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
