I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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