Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
