You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize