Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize