there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
