I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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