Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i think we sleep fucked last night...
how does that bad decision feel?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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