He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
