what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
