She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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