Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
