There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Boobs speak an international language.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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