If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i believe in u and ur pee
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
