I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize