her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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