her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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