That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize