The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
