He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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