Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
