I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
