Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
