that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
