Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
