Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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