I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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