I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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