Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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