thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
