I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize