Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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