Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize