ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What drink are we having for lunch?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
