from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
