Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
