sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
