if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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